Chapter 17 of 17
You will fight. The question is whether you fight FOR each other or AGAINST each other.
Reflect
Answer honestly — your responses save to this device only. There are no right answers, only true ones.
What is my go-to weapon in a fight — silence, sarcasm, scoreboard, volume?
What topic do we keep fighting about that we have never actually solved?
When she gets emotional, do I escalate, withdraw, or stay engaged?
What was the last fight I 'won' but actually lost ground in our marriage?
Where am I more interested in being right than being close?
What boundary or rule would make our disagreements safer for her?
Act
Pick one. Do it before Sunday. Check it off when it's done.
Discuss
These prompts are designed for connection — not debate. Listen more than you talk.
Each share: 'When we fight, what do you most need from me?'
Map your 3 most repeated fights. Find the deeper need under each.
Practice a 'repair attempt' phrase you'll both honor in real time.
"Fighting nice is not about avoiding conflict. It is about protecting the person on the other side of it."